Worried

That has me so worried and has made my mind go crazy. I'm worried about things I most likely shouldn't be worried about. Since my last relationship failed manly because I was and am gone so much. I worry that grace will end things for the same reason. Now I only feel this way when I'm on the road. When I'm with her I feel fine and that she wants to be with me. We don't talk much about us and how things are going but I assume that if there was something wrong or an issue she whould bring it up to me. My ex held things in till it was too late so I hope that grace isn't doing that as well. Everything we talk about (us) she says everything I'm doing is fine and enough. She thinks I do alot for her and doesn't want to take advantage of me and start to expect things from me. In relationships I feel like a child until I have no sought In my mind that we are totaly together. It will take me being with grace for a year to feel that way. I think after a year you know things are fine and can relax a bit. Not saying that I or you should stop doing things the way you have been for the last year. Why do I always have bad feeling when I'm on the road. I hate feeling this way cus I blog it then when I'm home I don't feel that way any more but I don't blog how I feel when I'm home. Why is that? Well grace is up now and off to work. Once she gets there and goes on yahoo messager she will see what I did from my last post. Worrieing about that made me think that I should ask her if she still has feeling of wanting to run away. I'm not sure if I should MSG her the question or call and ask her or wait till I get home and ask her face to face. Idk I could just be over reacting. I'm going to try to wait til I'm home that way I have time to think about it and if it comes out that she does ....I don't know what I will do. All the time I spend with her I never feel like she wants to run....wait I have only when she's around my daughter.

Thought just popped into my head. This weekend well last weekend. Everyone was talking about haveing kids. Grace told me that she always said that if she was going to have kids it would be by the time she was 33 and married. She turns 33 in September. But in other talks she said that she's glad she doesn't have kids. So I don't know what to think. Lol after all I have said and put down in blogs here if she asked me to have a kid with her I would under one codition. We get maried. As things stand right now I KNOW for a fact that THAT isn't going to or even crossed her mind. Lol. I may love her but I feel that she's working throught issues of her own. The only thing I hope is that she is doing and working her issues out for herself and not because I have influenced her to do so or doing it for me. I don't think or want her to change for me or anyone. All I want for her is to be happy and if I'm in that happyness all the better cus that whould make me happy