Heh

I have had a good time with grace. Now I won't be able to see her for almost two weeks. I'm not sure how this is going to make things. Better or worse. I belive that she needs some alone time since we have been together no stop fir a week straight. It's been an amazing week. I have enjoyed every moment with her. I hope that she did to and that with this time apart it won't brake us up. I'm hopeing it will bring us closer. I'm not going to try to talk to her tommorrow at work. She missed a week of work and things maybe sketchy there. I'm hopeing that everything will be fine and that they don't fire her. I couldn't bear it if she lost her job. I would take care of her. I would pay her bills and all I would ask is that I could move in. I wouldn't be able to suport her and myself liveing somewhere else. Now I know that my daughter wouldn't stay at her place when she was intown. Not yet anyways. Still too early. For that matter me living at her place would be too early but for me to suport her I would have to drive over the road until she found another job. Then I can look for a local job again. Wow I just went crazy there. Let's hope that she keeps her job and none of that happens yet. I would rather have her ask me to to move in then do it the way I just said.

Ok so I was talking with grace yesterday and there were two things I wanted to say but I decided not to. One: my ex wife told me that I didn't have to get a blood test on my daughter cus she knows that my daughter is mine. "just look and you can see that she's yours" my ex says. That right threre told me in my gut that my so called daughter wasn't mine. I couldn't take that kind of betral. My heart was broken not from the cheating or our brake up (well ok some from that but) it was from how she did it and talked down to me and flat out said that she never loved me and only married me so that she wouldn't have a kid out of wedlock. That was crushing. I have been thinking about testing my daughter to see if she is mine or not but if she isn't mine then what? What can I do I have papers saying she's mine and I think I sill would have to pay child suport bucase of those papers. Becides it would kill me. The only reason I even question it is becuse when my ex got prego we wernt having sex there was a three week time were we didn't have sex. Plus there were other things going on right at that time. Long story but the jist is that she was seeing another guy that had the same looks as me tall and thin. So as you can see I have reason to belive that she did cheat on me at that time.
Two: ya forgot the second thing. Lol. All I have left to say is that I haven't been happier in my life. Things with grace are going great! I enjoy spending all the time I can with her. She's still trying to get used to the idea of being in a cuople. So I know all this time together has pushed her um...patience to the max. The last two days we both did our own thing for a time and when I met back up with her she was all smiles. Expecialy yesterday. The jelious part of me says it's from her seeing the guy she has feelings for(I think she has feelings for) or it's was she was able to see her team skate and she got crafty. I don't know but I love to see her smile. Well she's still sleeping and I have to go soon so I want to cuddel up to her as much as I can.