If I had a local job everything would be easier. Seeing my daughter would be easier. Spending time with grace would be easier. The best thing that could happen is if my ex would move back into town. As much as I don't want her that close to me it would make it easier for me to see may daughter. So it would be worth haveing the ex that close. Plus I just miss haveing a life. Being able to plan things and know u can do them. Grace has been talking about us as if we are going to stay together for atleast two years and longer. Last weekend I was home we trimmed some soap and my daughter wanted to help. So grace had her put samples in little baggies. My daughter asked y she couldn't help trim. Grace told her that the trimmer is sharp and doesn't want her to cut herself so when she is 6 she can help trim. Graces words not mine. That right there means she has atleast thought we will still be together or atleast close friends. She has been amazing lately. More so then the begining. She is so awesome. I love everything about her. Now I still haven't seen her mad yet. I'm mean at me or just pissed off in general. Little upset here and there but I'm sure it's different if it's toward me. I don't see how I can piss her off but I'm sure it will happen one way or another. I mean come on I'm a guy. It's bound to happen. Lol. She has opened up to me about her past and I was thankful that she did. As I thought it wasn't a happy happy past. She told me about her relationship with her dad. It wasn't very good and still isn't but she is trying to see if that can change. Little at a time. The reason I tell you this is that my situation with my daughter isn't the best. Not her falt but my ex and I don't get along at all. Mainly bucase my ex is a bitch to me all the time and I can only handle so much before my temper goes off. The one that gets hurt the most is my daughter. I have always tried to keep things smooth but my ex has to have drama and so starts giveing me shit until I can't take it any more. So to help things along to make them easier I'm moveing out of that house. I have been working on that for a time and found a place and started moveing over. What grace had told me about her dad and her had a good impact on me. I have started to make things easier between me and my ex and with what grace told me will help me pay attention to why is Bering said and done around my daughter. I know I seem to always talk about grace but when that's all that's going on in my life and she's all I think about. What else am I suposed to write about? Mmmmm tell me. Nothing else realy matters. I talk about my daughter from time to time but I only see her once or twice a month. Driveing is booooorrrrring. Trust me on that one. Oh a tree. Wow. Or a house neat!! Realy after you have driven 650,000 plus miles everything looks the same!!! And I'm so tierd of driveing over the road...
I would do anything to have a local job. My body is brakeing down much faster on the truck then when I hve a local job. Plus I'm just to that point of fuck it. I don't care. And that's not good when ur driveing a truck that weights upwards of 80,000 pounds. U can kill anything with that much weight. Since I got pushed into the career in the first place by my ex I want to strangle her just for that alone. Lol. Plus I smoke out on the road. I hate smokeing. I have quit a few times and thought I had it done with the last time cus I thought I had set up a local job but it fell through. That seems to be my life story. Get close to what u want and them poof it's gone. That's why I want to make any any local job work. I don't care if I have two jobs. One full time and a part time. Because I know I know for a fact that grace won't wait too long for me to get a local job. If it takes too long she will get tierd of not havein me around and say see ya. She's the beat time that has happened to me since my daughter was born. I don't want to lose her just because I didn't have a local job. I couldn't handle that. I would..... Well anyways. I'm almost to my next pick up so better go. Later all
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